They say that on our deathbed, we regret five things (there is a book with the same title) but mainly people regret NOT doing something rather than doing it. That is what ‘ask for forgiveness not permission’ means. 🙂
People are usually sorry for not doing what they love, for listening to others, for not living on their own terms, for not saying I love you or sorry.
Regret is powerful. It can be powerful if we use it as a fuel to live right here, right now, and 100%.
I believe I do this well and advise others to use the same approach. I truly believe that today might be my last day and that is why I do what I enjoy and love and try to solve all things waiting to be solved.
Are there things I regret? Oh, yes. Somehow, it is more difficult to forgive ourselves than others. For others we always find an explanation, but for ourselves – difficultly.
The sentence: You did the best you could at that time – does not help us a lot.
What if we knew better and did not do as we wanted? What if we were just afraid to be hurt again?
Don’t live a life wondering what it would be like if you did live with your lover you claim to be the love of your life, instead of doing the right thing and staying in a marriage, because of the kids of course. What would happen if you did go to that town that day, what would happen if you lived together instead of seeing that other person build a life just a few hundred meters from you with another person?
Regret has the power to help us define our life here and now, to live it fully, in the way so that we have nothing to regret. Use that power.
On your deathbed be the person with the shortest or no regret list.
Be a mother to yourself, not a stepmother. Forgive yourself. Somehow.
Enjoy your journey of life. Who knows for how long.